Daisies of the Galaxy.

by Eels

Take heart, my little friend
And push back your seat
Soon we'll be far away
Far from the street
Where you learned how to be
Not what you are

Up on the shoulder
There is a town
With a little motel
And an old movie house
We'll go to a movie
Whatever it is

Watching the movie
The world's gonna end
And there ain't a place for
A boy and his friend
To go

I'll pick some daisies
From the flower bed
Of the galaxy theater
While you clear your head
I thought some daisies
Might cheer you up

I'm so tired, and I'm so sick. Sick of reality. Sick of myself, sick of my place in life. I am so tired. I'm exhausted, for no real reason. Hours and hours of sleep cannot fix this utter exhaustion I have been feeling at the end of my days. I'm tired, and I have a headache.

It seems as if nothing is working out. It brings to mind a poem I read once by Bukowski, called "Cut While Shaving"

It's never quite right, he said, the way people look,
the way the music sounds, the way the words are
written.
It's never quite right, he said, all the things we are
taught, all the loves we chase, all the deaths we
die, all the lives we live,
they are never quite right,
they are hardly close to right,
these lives we live
one after the other,
piled there as history,
the waste of the species,
the crushing of the light and the way,
it's not quite right,
it's hardly right at all
he said.

don't I know it? I
answered.

I walked away from the mirror.
it was morning, it was afternoon, it was
night

nothing changed
it was locked in place.
something flashed, something broke, something
remained.

I walked down the stairway and
into it.

Which reminds me of a song, Bukowski by Modest Mouse.

Well, see what you want to see
You should see it all
Well, take what you want from me
You deserve it all
Nine times out of ten
Our hearts just get dissolved

So back to this, I'm tired, and I'm exhausted, and I feel as if I have too much to think about. I need to get things done at work, and that's all there is to it. I need to do some math homework, but that's just not getting done. I know damn well I won't get it done tonight, and there's no real point kidding myself.

Tomorrow, someone give me an easy life. Give me a life that is content with drama and failure. A life that doesn't hate itself for being what it's created for itself. Give me the life of someone else, someone who isn't so damn tired. Or just lie to me, and tell me that I'll have one. It won't be a condemning lie, it won't send you to hell. It will give me false hope, consider it an "it'll be okay" for my entire life.

That sounds good, really good.